Whining

We all do it from time to time, some a lot, some very rarely.

What is whining? Expression of discontent at something.

Don't do it. No one wants to hear it. I do it too much, and I'm working on it.

How to avoid whining behavior:

1) If you don't like something, do something about it, or shut up.

2) Remember, other people don't want to hear it. They may seem like they want to, but people, on balance, prefer to hear positive things.

3) You are who you are, get over it. Wishing to be something else is foolhardy and destructive. If there's something about yourself you want to change (we all have these things), gradually habitualize constructive behaviors toward this goal.

4) Like 2, learn to see other people's reactions to you. I am a fairly straightforward person, when people do things that make me look negatively toward them, I usually say so. When this doesn't work or isn't possible, the expression on my face or my body language should usually give it away. Nothing is more self-centered than not being able to interpret how other people view your actions.

Manliness

Johnny did something yesterday that I thought was typical of manliness. Kevin was telling how his friend, who had cerebral palsy, had always been made fun of by being called a demeaning name. This friend didn't seem to care, he was just happy to be included, from what I could understand. Kevin, however felt very different, and objected strongly, demanding this friend be called his actual name. Johnny exclaimed "I'm really glad you did that" and thrust his hand forward to shake Kevin's hand. Why did I see this as a manly form of behavior? It was forceful and self-confident, which is typical of alpha mentality, but it also was protective and shepherding of other people, which is the masculine ideal. It was interesting to watch.

I look around at many people I know, and I struggle to find much to be admired. Many of them are smart, many of them are funny, many of them are irreverent; but few of them seem to put forth of action, whether the reason be apathy, discouragement, or ennui. I don't exempt myself in any way, because my methodology is the worst of all. I care, I'm undiscouraged, and I am not bored and angstful of life, yet actions I think are important are never translated into useful work.

More Later

Since no one follows me, this question is pointless, but... What do you think would be a good example of manly behavior?